Tech-savvy Mourners Gifts

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"Does the ark have wifi?"

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'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

End of world nigh!!!

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

Jesus Saves

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

'And I'm sure Brian would have appreciated his facebook friends turning up today.'

"I've never seen the congregation praying this hard."

'Click on the icon.'

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

Prpr 2 Skype thy Mkr.

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

"Before I commit. . . what's the wi-fi like?"

'My spreadsheet says we must lighten by 152 pounds.'