Tech-savvy Doomsayers Gifts

Where the crackpots have gone. . . Online.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

God's Phone

"Does the ark have wifi?"

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Rumours Online

Crystal Ball Plug

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

End of world nigh!!!

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"We met online, it was love at first site."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

Jesus Saves

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'

"OK Zoomer!"

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

Vicar pulls public-toilet hand towel which reads 'The end is nigh'

'Click on the icon.'

"Let us bow our heads, turn off our cell phones, and pray."

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

"I have an app that alerts me when I'm delusional about be able to afford a property."

"Sorry—that's the screen saver."