Tech-savvy Mobster Fan Gifts

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

E-Baying @ The Moon

Accept cookies?

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

'Old blue-screen's back!'

Great mouser!

"First gig in a while?"

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

"If fishing wasn't bad enough, we now have to worry about phishing, too."

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

Twitter followers: Wile Coyote

"It's not your phone—they're playing 'Für Elise.'"

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

"*Sigh* these smart appliances always know when it's tax refund time."

'Aren't any of these interactive?'

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

'La Donna E Mobile.'

"These endless software updates are killing your joie de vivre."

'Sorry, Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

'I wish the captain would stop assigning me cold cases!'

"Thanks to all the passwords I've had to memorize, I've forgotten my name. Who am I?"

Gangster Motivation

"Must be one of those new Russian mobsters."

Oh good life, you give to me … a gift sweeter than a rose. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Sunday night at 9, you see: Binge watching Sopranos. Mobsters be her muse.

The Rapture, buffering

"That's the problem with this business. It's always 'who have you whacked for me lately?'"

'Keep an eye on Jimmy the Shark during today's meeting. You can always tell if he's planning a double-cross by the way he fidgets with his iPhone.'

'Get in.'

'Luigi, I'm thinking of getting back into the family business. Regular business is too corrupt!'

"Nice tough with the matching handbag, Frank."

"I don't want anyone hurt, Carmine. Just post an ugly message on our home page."

'You're right, boss. This does make it more fun!'

Goldfish Mafia

1985/2005.