Tech-savvy Comedy Fan Gifts

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

"First gig in a while?"

Social network site runs into trouble.

'You are not haunted by the voices of the dead - You are tuned to four extra.'

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

'Bad news. You're being outsourced by robots from a third world country.'

'We use intelligent robots, but not to intelligent because they'd want a union.'

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

'Look closely. Do you see the one who stole your identity?'

Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor woman in Dad's computer.

"Forget it, Goliath, I've decided to attack you online instead."

"I just got a text from our smart garage door. It says: Oops, my bad."

'This thing is airproof, right?'

"It's for people who can't remember passwords."

'This is not going to look too good on your record: complaining about invasion of privacy.'

'He's disappointed because he heard that site had a high bounce rate, so he thought it had a lot of cleavage.'

'This is a disgrace! I read about it online!'

'I didn't expect my own computer to stab me in the back.'

"Be careful - faecal recognition cameras!"

'Robespierre hacked my website again!'

'Could I check my email?'

The Rapture, buffering

'The error message said I made an illegal entry, but I never suspected it was anything this serious!'

"I thought you said these scales speak your weight?"

'Whenever I get on the Information Superhighway, somebody FLASHES me.'