Tech-savvy Legal Eagle Gifts

Computer questionning a witness.

'With high speed internet and real time, GPS tracking, I rarely need to physically chase an ambulance anymore.'

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

Laws and mobile technology

Audiovisual law

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I think its being tapped.'

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

Judge getting hair done.

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'... the party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

Computer Aided Divorce.

'I was an attorney but that fizzled out. Apparently I couldn't distinguish between legal and illegal.'

"Melanie, find me a little pro-bono case to cleanse my palate."

"Please, just give the boy his pocket money!"

Sue the Author: 1pm-3pm

"What this law firm needs is an app that can tweak the law in our favor."