Tech-savvy Legal Eagle Gifts

Computer questionning a witness.

'With high speed internet and real time, GPS tracking, I rarely need to physically chase an ambulance anymore.'

'Place your hand on the e-bible and text me a repeat text of my text...'

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

Laws and mobile technology

Audiovisual law

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

'I think its being tapped.'

Judge getting hair done.

"Everybody out of the water! Lawyer!"

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

'Sir, this chicken is improperly dressed!'

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'... the party of the first part is to give the party of the second part ...'

'I'm afraid I'll have to sentence you to five years, but you have been a beautiful defendant.'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'They were about to reach a verdict until they heard ...'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

'I was an attorney but that fizzled out. Apparently I couldn't distinguish between legal and illegal.'

"You're charged with blowing the roof off, bringing the house down, and totally killing it. How do you plead?"

Computer Aided Divorce.

"Melanie, find me a little pro-bono case to cleanse my palate."