Tech-savvy Juror Gifts

'Bailiff, would you please send a text to, juror #2 and instruct him to put his phone away.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

The dead sea scrolls

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

Childhood Screen Addict

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."