Tech-savvy Juror Pillows

'Bailiff, would you please send a text to, juror #2 and instruct him to put his phone away.'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Childhood Screen Addict

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

"We the jury find that the murder was committed by Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick!"