Tech-savvy Joey Pillows

'What?!'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

I've always been slower than computers...

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

"That guys is stealing my data!"