Tech-savvy Homeowner Pillows

'Why do you want a chimney sweep anyway? You're all electric...'

"We have so many security cameras, the doormat says 'Say cheese' instead of welcome."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'