Tech-savvy Home Master Pillows

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Mozart on a computer,

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

The Digital Family

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

"Go ask your search engine."

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'