Tech-savvy Homemaker Pillows

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

The Digital Family

Downloading Pregnancy

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'You're texting? Wait--'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'