Tech-savvy Holiday Fan Pillows

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff."

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Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Great mouser!

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"Kids now program their robots to do their trick-or-treating for them. There's a thin line between ingenuity and laziness."

'Good. Now just click on 'play'...'

"Hockey players no longer fight. They feel saying mean things about each other on social media hurts more."

"Just a reminder, Santa. Don't forget to yule log off when you're done."

Twitter followers: Wile Coyote

MLB 2020

'I know if you've been bad or good thanks to surveillance cameras in last year's toys.'

'It's a harsh dismissal folks, and it's bound to fuel the debate over the new robo-umpire.'

Santa Claus's sled runs into satellite dish on a roof thus messing up the picture on a TV in the living room.

"She gave us only one star on Trip-Advisor and totally trashed us on the porridge network."

'Santa sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been good, and he can find everyone's house with his GPS.'

'It's all automated nowadays: Santa doesn't need to check the list twice anymore...'

"Rudolph, with you nose so bright... I'm using my GPS device tonight!"

"VAR ref..!!"

'Bo-Peep was fed-up with losing us all the time, so she has us all wear these radio-locator collars now.'

'Was Rudolph's nose an early prototype of a GPS?'

"Tell me again about how I can shop online and have gifts delivered without leaving my office."

Computer screen says 'Have you been naughty/nice?' Santa says to elf: 'The kids send very few letters since you set up that website.'

"Why aren't the elves toiling in the workshop?"

Santa, tapping at mobile phone, turns away child saying: 'All Christmas lists must be 140 characters of fewer.'

'Personally I think hover fielders is a step too far.'

Hockey and Cell Phones

'Okay, yes it's my cell phone. I forgot the puck okay?'

"I understand why they replaced his nose with a GPS, but it just doesn't have the same charm."

"...of course, you can always e-mail your list to my Ho-Ho-Hotmail account..."