Tech-savvy Health Warrior Gifts

"This food app I downloaded asked me to enter my daily food consumption."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Have I told you how absolutely lovely you look today?'

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

M.D. Robotics. Oil. Stop downloading so many cookies.

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

Candies and diet pills

"Alright, let's Google those symptoms and see what we come up with."

'Don't get smart with me!'

"I'm so much more relaxed since I got this mindfulness app."

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

"The computers are down, so I can't 'search' your symptoms at the moment."

"Please help. Never learned PowerPoint."

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

I think the doctor will agree with me on this, Sir, you have Elephantitis!

Resisting the Virus

'This less-weight app is great! It suggested I lie my mobile down on the scale instead of stepping on it myself and look - less-weight!'

Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.

"Would you like to donate 1¢ for every word I text during a 5K walk?"