Tech-savvy Health Nut Gifts

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

I think the doctor will agree with me on this, Sir, you have Elephantitis!

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

Tangled facing dog...

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

"We saw a movie about mononucleosis in health class. It was called, 'Germs of Endearment.'"

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

"Alright, let's Google those symptoms and see what we come up with."

"I warned you not to mix the vitamin pills." - Vomiting letters of the alphabet.

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

"Stop complaining. If you hadn't spent all day in a donut shop you wouldn't have to lose 3.5 stones so we could lift off."

'This less-weight app is great! It suggested I lie my mobile down on the scale instead of stepping on it myself and look - less-weight!'

"The computers are down, so I can't 'search' your symptoms at the moment."

Man waiting in line to self scan himself at a hospital.

'Folks, we'd now like to sing you a little song about the warning signs of hypoxia...'

'The law requires me to inform you that everything you've ordered may be hazardous to your health.'