Tech-savvy Health Nut Prints

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

I think the doctor will agree with me on this, Sir, you have Elephantitis!

"Ask Siri, if you want a second opinion!"

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

Tangled facing dog...

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'I just read that in order to get the same benefit as lab mice got from taking resveratrol, you'd have to drink 1,000 bottles of wine per day. For you, that would mean cutting back.'

M.D. Robotics. Oil. Stop downloading so many cookies.

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

"I run a weight loss site, and my friend here runs a bodybuilding site."

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

"We saw a movie about mononucleosis in health class. It was called, 'Germs of Endearment.'"

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

"Nice try, but I'm not counting these as your steps. I know you're jst sitting down, eating junk food and stomping your feet on the floor."

Foods that are bad for you. Foods that are really bad for you.

"Alright, let's Google those symptoms and see what we come up with."

"I warned you not to mix the vitamin pills." - Vomiting letters of the alphabet.

"Well, if you followed me on twitter, you'd already know your diagnosis."

"Stop complaining. If you hadn't spent all day in a donut shop you wouldn't have to lose 3.5 stones so we could lift off."

'This less-weight app is great! It suggested I lie my mobile down on the scale instead of stepping on it myself and look - less-weight!'

"The computers are down, so I can't 'search' your symptoms at the moment."