High-tech Health Buff Prints

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Is this still America?'

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Zika Mosquitos

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

'It's some sort of side effect of swine flu!'

Vaccinating the Easter Bunny

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

'I had a larger sample for you but I had trouble getting the lid back on. . .'

"I'm looking over your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"

This guy smells like he just got the Covid vaccine. Do you think it's safe to bite him?

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'

'No thank you, I'm on a diet: I've noticed that the fat ones disappear first...'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"