Tech-savvy Health Enthusiasts Pillows

'This less-weight app is great! It suggested I lie my mobile down on the scale instead of stepping on it myself and look - less-weight!'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"He looks so much like his dad."

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

Stay away from Pigs.

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"The patient handed me this 'wearable technology' and said 'all the answers are on there'."

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

"You exercise with your phone?"

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"It's a very hip disease, so it's good that we caught it early, before everyone's talking about it."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Anti-natal clinic - If you don't want to be pregnant.

Married people live longer

"Nice try, buy candy corn is not a vegetable."