Tech-savvy Health Seeker Pillows

"Alright, let's Google those symptoms and see what we come up with."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Deposit phones here

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"Is this a trick question?"

Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

"I feel fine but according to my new watch I might be DEAD!"

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

'Must be another of Obama's healthcare cost cutting.'

"You want a glass of water...Hang on I think I've got an app for that!"

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

A doctor checks on a patient hooked up to a complicated-looking machine.

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."