Tech-savvy Celestial Gifts

'EWrath.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

Buffering

End of world nigh!!!

"I do miss the crystal ball."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

"The algorithm isn't showing us as many stars as it used to."

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.

"Two bars—how about you?"

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

"User name and password?"

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

"It's a message for you from the other side."

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

"What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?"

'What's with all the politicians suddenly getting struck by lightning?'

'I'm the alpha angel.'

He likes to pretend to look at the stars when he was really looking in the neighbors' window.

"What the...no cell phone coverage?"

'How can tweeting be hard for someone so bird-like?'

"Oh, I'm sorry...LIE, not DIE. Someone close to you will LIE tomorrow. Darn auto correct."

"Stay with me. I just want to cross-check your fortune with a quick Google search."

"You've got mail."

'Wait! What's this? A text message from the other side.'

"This shouldn't take long now that I'm on broadband."