Tech-savvy Celestial Gifts

'EWrath.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

End of world nigh!!!

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

"I do miss the crystal ball."

"The algorithm isn't showing us as many stars as it used to."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.

"I'm gettng a message from the Other Side ... buffering ... still buffering ..."

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"Two bars—how about you?"

"User name and password?"

"Are you sure you're in the right place?"

'It's no big deal. Most of them are posthumous.'

"It's a message for you from the other side."

He likes to pretend to look at the stars when he was really looking in the neighbors' window.

'I'm the alpha angel.'

'How can tweeting be hard for someone so bird-like?'

"Oh, I'm sorry...LIE, not DIE. Someone close to you will LIE tomorrow. Darn auto correct."

'Wait! What's this? A text message from the other side.'

"This shouldn't take long now that I'm on broadband."

"You've got mail."

"Stay with me. I just want to cross-check your fortune with a quick Google search."