Tech-savvy Bail Jumper Gifts

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

Wedding selfie stick

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

Childhood Screen Addict

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

Zoom Rodeos

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'How many times have I told you to not call while I'm in the middle of a competition?'

"We don't bury treasure anymore - it's all in bitcoin."

Scuba texting

Hydrofoil wing boat.

'I'm texting my inner child.'

'I used to be confined to my backyard, but with this mobile device, I can do my business anywhere.'

Technology has changed a lot of things, including how kids run away from home.

'My ringtone is a real attention getter. It sounds like a squeaky toy.'

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

'I have to download a software patch for my eyePhone.'

'Aye Aye phone.'

They were ALL texting.

Prisoner counting off the days on his computer.

"If it please Your Honor . . . Your Honor? Your Honor!"

"Look, if you must go down to the seas again, to the lonely seas and sky, then go!But take your BlackBerry."

High Tech Mom

'Bailiff, would you please send a text to, juror #2 and instruct him to put his phone away.'

'Any further question,just email me...'

Boy Scout Camp.

'We are the 99%. . . who want the new iphone!!'

Stables. We're the computer geeks equestrian club. Uninstall some horses for us, please.

"I won't always be around to watch over you, but they'll be plenty of surveillance cameras."

"How many times I gotta tell ya, Louie...we;re into cyber crime these days...No one dresses like dat for cyber crime."

Returns: 'I'd like to trade this in for a phone I can hear with my ear.'

"Cool social network profile, man! You love to hang around doing nothing, eh?"