Tech-resistant Trooper T-Shirts

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

"Now right-click on the icon."

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"Ms. Higgins, which button do I push for one of those cutesy, thing things, that people put on their emails?"

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

"Tech Savvy? No. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

'To think what I loved about you was your old-fashionedness.'

"I was told I needed to clean out my computer, so that's what I did. Maybe I used the wrong detergent in the washer, because it won't work now."

'Don't get smart with me!'

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh....please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code..."

'The show must go on!'

Computer use issues

"Please help. Never learned PowerPoint."

"It keeps asking me if I'll accept cookies... I'm not even hungry!"

"Just sitting here waiting for Facebook to go away."

iPlod.

"For your birthday I'm going to give you 24 hours technical support."

"What the ∆∂∑† do most of these Ω∞§Ωing buttons do?"

"My dad? Forget about it! He's clueless about cells...he'd never read my text messages...trust me!"

A trapeze artist texting forgets to grab his fellow artist.

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!" "That's the TV remote, Roy."

"I'm sending you back to elementary school so you can get your computer skills up."

"I want any saber-rattling to go to spam."

'When it comes to texting, I'm all thumbs.'

'Not speaking to each other in a whole new medium!'

"I feel stupid calling tech support for a toaster."

"No grandma, you're not having a reaction to your medication. That website is just buffering."