Tech Prodigy Gifts

'He's a whiz at computers and video games, but can't seem to grasp potty training.'

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

'Our son said he'll help us with our computer problem...for $50 an hour. Pretty savvy for an 8 year old.'

I Hacked Into Your Company's Computer And Gave You A Raise - So You Can Afford More Allowance.

Child as technical advisor

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

"I wish he would watch something more educational, but since he programmed the TV and mounted it himself, he probably doesn't need to."

'Here's MY information highway!'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"His first word was 'Dotcom'."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

S.S.dot.com

"Fact amnesty"

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"You see, darling, he plays a Steinway, just like you."