Tech Philosophizer Gifts

'What's the big deal - we've been meeting on line for 100 years!'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

I.T. Fear

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Privacy

Computer help.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."