Tech Newbies Pillows

'Do you have something so simple that even my parents could use it?'

'I can't believe you don't use Skype.'

"I've driven cross country with my wife, three kids and a dog. I know what a hard drive is."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

The Computer Bore

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I have no feelings about having no feelings."

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

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"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

'My dad just invented the wheel!'

Now hiring. You seem very motivated. It's my internal drive!

'Do you know where your phone charger is? . . . I know where mine is.'

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"Come left to course zero two five - whoa - use your turn signal."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

Cell Phone

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

"How much storage does he bleedin' want?!"

"I thought a wheel was a wheel."

Bubbie Selfies

"This thing isn't working."

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."