Tech Newbie Pillows

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

One of the dangers of being new to online banking.

'Do you have something so simple that even my parents could use it?'

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'... taking great care 'NOT' to press the button labelled 'Thermo-Nuclear War'.

'Don't you mean you want to learn to 'Tweet,' not, 'Twerk,' Grandma?'

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

"Please—no technology questions!"

'I can't find the 'any' key...'

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

'Michael, go in there and help your father before he throws another tantrum.'

"Hi, it's me - I'm on the internet!"

Social Media Explained By Ginny Root 3rd Grade.

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

Video Chat with Dad from his new smart phone.

"I actually turned on a my computer all by myself!"

"How do you get cookery programmes on this?"

"He just asked me how to set an alarm on his phone. Since this is a tech school, I'm guessing he's here on an athletic scholarship."

"It's not the dark web. You don't have it turned on."

"Say that again. I open what? Then click on what? Then type in what? Then save to what. . . ?"

Bubbie Selfies

"The fact that you're writing your presentation in giant letters makes me think you still haven't figured out how to use a PowerPoint presentation."

"Not discovered the 'Delete' key yet Edith?"

'Cosmetic surgery has made her look a lot younger, but she can't hide her lack of tech skills.'

'You should get on the internet Mum...'

"I knew you'd like it."

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

Woman putting correction fluid on a computer screen

'Why do you need tech support mom? You don't have a computer!'

By the time I figured out how to read her e-book, she was asleep.

Crossing the street is fine, but if you really want to be helpful, translate these darn messages from my grandkids.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

-

"How me turn this thing on?"