Tech Novice Pillows

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

Dave began to question the new secretary's competency when he found her using rubber gloves to avoid computer viruses.

"I'm constructing a website."

'Where do you plug it in?'

"I said use your speaker. You just took another picture of your ear."

Colin was still struggling to get his head around how online dating worked.

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

'There's a better way to hide icons.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"I shouldn't have to pay you for showing me how to record a programme."

Elmhurst Senior Centre: TV Remote Lessons

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

"Earbuds are tiny headphones."

"So I downloaded the app, registered our appliance, accidentally hit the delete button, and that the last I saw of our dishwasher."

"Well, if you'd married a dentist like I wanted, maybe HE could explain Bluetooth to me!"

"First time pruning?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

Computer books for dummies.

Bubbie Selfies

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'