Tech Manual Victim Gifts

... and this section is for the people who wrote computer manuals.

Computer Room.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Drool Marks

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

'Sorry guys! But i'm afraid we're going to have to shoot this segment again. The darn tape just ran out!'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"This is why I hate bringing you shopping."

"I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress."

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'Your last tech job offered generous options? So do we: Take it or leave it.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

STRIP Hambone: Living in the box the computer who replaced him came in

Divorce lawyer "Then it's final, you get the computer as you requested and your wifes gets the house, car and everything else"

"I think I see your problem."

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

'...and we've converted this room into a home office.'

"I spilt coffee on my machine again..."

I'm on live chat support, phone support, email support and text support - and they all have me on hold.

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

'Lord, NO! Take me instead!'

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.