Tech Jugular Gifts

Stupid cell phone. One more thing he hated about walking her yappy little dog.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We have an acronym!"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

A Bloody Butcher

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Ninedency: A budding tendency

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

The coffee's not working.

"It's a swearbox."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

The Working Mum

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'