Tech Industry Insider Gifts

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"What's that you're reading?"

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

HUAWEI 5G

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'These are our projected profits as capitalism self-destructs.'

'The global economy supplies basic tools. A lot of us get the axe.'

"My lawyer doesn't trust my agent who doesn't trust the director who doesn't trust the screenwriter who doesn't trust me. All perfectly normal."

'The music business.'

"When I was young, music and lyrics were important! Now it's all about production...it's all jiggly butts, smoke, sexy clothes and crazy videos!"

"Great work on the annual report, John. It's fact-driven, yet delightfully unencumbered by reality!"

"Surprisingly, it's not in reverse order."

'We've decided to call off our go-slow.'

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

'Excellent photo for the cover of our annual report, Richards. Tell me; which do we make, the cell phone or the umbrella?'

Computer scared of user

'It's called the iBarrow. It's a wheelbarrow to carry all your chargers around.'

'This thing is dangerous! -- invent fire and burn it up!'