Tech Diversity Gifts

'I embrace diversity. Some of my friends use Androids, some have iPhones, and others use Blackberries.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

Lynching on social media

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

The Anti-Agent

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

In the Guru District

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

Computer Room.

Polly txt speak

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

The Computer Bore