Tech-dependent Meditators Gifts

"Could you hold a second?...I have a call."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Yoga with Baby

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

I am one with stupid.

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

"Avoid sitting."

Cable Bill.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'When I need to think better, I just step outside.'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

Holy phone

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

"Look, I'm happy to drop my attachment to ego, but please, don't expect me to give up coffee!"

Oh, like you've never had a rap song stuck in your head.

"Do you have anything that will help me get rid of an irritating mantra?"

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

www.meditation.commm

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

'Actually I'm meditating on a bizarre anime that I saw last night.'

He was reaching for enlightenment and threw out his back.

"Sorry, but I'm here right now."

'The meaning of life? Let me Google that for you.'

'Yep, I'm alone.'

Virtual reality guru.

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'

Zen Buddhist Diary

A huge, mind-boggling number.