Tech-averse Joker Pillows

"I was told I needed to clean out my computer, so that's what I did. Maybe I used the wrong detergent in the washer, because it won't work now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

"You're on mute."

Turnkey Totalitarianism

Google signwriter.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

"But officer. I wasn't texting. I was `sexting`."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"Are you sure this is how you get Twitter verified?"

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

"It is the complete works of shakespeare alright but the pig's claiming he wrote them."

"On this comparison website I can get a thinner you, with more personality and a bushier mustache."

"There is no 'virtual arrest button', you'll have to get off your butt and do it manually."

Video Chat with Dad from his new smart phone.

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

"Well, did it work?"

'This homework is a disgrace. I'd like a note from your computer.'

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

"Honey! Come see how much better I look in this than you do."

"Wouldn't you rather watch it on the big screen?"

"Someone has come up with some just impediment."

When your password asks for more characters, it doesn't mean your friends.

'Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?'

'We're rich beyond our wildest dreams. We've struck printer ink!'

'I thought a cake was a bit obvious, so I've emailed the file to you.'