Tear-jerker Trooper Pillows

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"Did I miss something?"

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

Astronomical observations.

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

'-and who's next?'

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

Super Bowl Monday

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir, my mistake. That sign was meant for someone with a less expensive car."

Speed Limit Enforced by Slow Aircraft

'It's my birthday. I'm giving a free cup of coffee to everyone that gets a ticket.'

'To think what I loved about you was your old-fashionedness.'

'I love going to the movies for a good cry.'

Clown car full of policemen

Man: 'So how was your tear-jerker movie Ladies? Did you cry your eyes out?!'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'The show must go on!'

"This is my boyfriend Charles. He's very sensitive. He cries when he sees old romantic films, and market posting losses."

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh....please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code..."

Deja Viewer

"Shall I put you down for a state trooper cap, T-shirt, or coffee mug?"

Flight Departures