Tearjerker Enthusiast Pillows

"He's not much for tearjerkers, but he's required to read the annual report."

Sad film.

"This is my boyfriend Charles. He's very sensitive. He cries when he sees old romantic films, and market posting losses."

Small child building a large contraption from junk

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'Well, that's fixed that.'

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

Love wine

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

"You've even got me confused now but I'm reasonably sure it's 'righty tighty - lefty loosey'."

"Oscar has been known to reinvent himself."

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

"Did I miss something?"

Tweezers are a girl's best friend.

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

Sweary Chef - A bad tempered chef swears at the fish he is about to prepare and the fish swears back.

Machine

'Abandon Sheep.'

'Fridge magnet' t-shirt.

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

'The big guy wants to see you.'

'Popcorn-Soda-Hankies'

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

Maid with her sewing basket

Inventor names new fabric after his sisters, Polly and Esther.

Just the usual, thanks.

"That's better, Princess. Now let's go to the beach so I can meet your new boyfriend!"

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

The Mechanic

'I found another stray nose hair.' - 'I'll tweezer it...' - 'This won't hurt, right?' - 'No, I'll be fine...' - 'Gah!' - 'Oops.'