Teammate Gifts

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'Do either of you fancy joining our pub quiz team?'

"When the boss said I was 'really going places' I didn't know she meant I was fired!"

"Settle down and try to remember why we call you Lefty."

The post-game meal

"Okay, which one of you guys filled my bowling ball with helium?"

Portuguese soccer divers.

'How's the football?' 'Terrific. The coach says I'm one of the school's greatest drawbacks.'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

(visual gag) 'HA-ARRRGH' A shot put athlete tears off his head when he throws his put

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

Team

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Staff support"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

James Bond in a Snow Globe

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

International Women's Day

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'