Team Sport Enthusiasts Gifts

'When do they swop shirts...'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Saving a Heart

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"How should we divide the teams?"

Gary turns 40.

Ratminton

A day at the transgenic races

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."