Team Dynamics Gifts

'That went well.'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

'This organization has a blame culture. And that's all Jeremy's fault.'

'Yes, I work well with others - just not with these others.'

'Did I put on pantyhose for this?'

"Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, Hargraves, but part of me wants to go to lunch."

'Remember, guys, there's no 'I'll kill you before I ever budge an inch on any position' in TEAMWORK.'

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately..."

"Open plan office are the future, they're more flexible, efficient...sharing a workspace and being able to see your colleagues at work can really improve performance!"

Teamwork: "He's not good at playing well with others."

'Oh I'm a team player alright: I am an expert at blending in...'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'I'm extremely happy that you'll be joining our team as we transition to new roles into the new geographies, but I have to ask you...Who Are You?'

'A good team leader inspires intense loyalty.'

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"The fact is, Bob, your amazing ability to focus on problems like a laser beam is freaking out everybody in the company!"

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

Brian couldn't help feeling that Feeding Frenzies weren't what they used to be.

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'Ted, why don't you kick things off by reading the innuendos from our last meeting?'

"Do you want the boss or somebody who knows what they are talking about?"

"We need someone with an overview of the situation."

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

office noise

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'How many times must I tell you not to punch, bend or mutilate your fellow workers!'

'Relax, Netherby. I'm saving you as an emergency scapegoat.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"