Team Captain T-Shirts

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"We really need to communicate better."

Team Work

Connor Wickham

'The pitcher calls a time out and walks toward the dugout. He's signaling the front office, and it looks like they're bringing out a new manager.'

'Listen up! Here's the starting lineup. Sheedy, second base. Taylor, right field. Jackson, role model...'

'Must be coach Johnson's place.'

Sensing the wildebeest was finally subdued, the alpha female signals to empty the bench.

Mauricio Roberto Pochettino Trossero

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Staff support"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."