Team Captain Gifts

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"We really need to communicate better."

You gave performance enhancing drugs to the girls on the Team Caffeine Basketball Squad?! I surely did not. I absolutely did not give any steroids to the girls on the team. What's with the quote marks? They surround words that can be legally disputed. Very creepy. Nothing improper happened.

Team Work

Connor Wickham

'The pitcher calls a time out and walks toward the dugout. He's signaling the front office, and it looks like they're bringing out a new manager.'

Alan Pardew

Sam Allardyce

'Listen up! Here's the starting lineup. Sheedy, second base. Taylor, right field. Jackson, role model...'

'Must be coach Johnson's place.'

Sensing the wildebeest was finally subdued, the alpha female signals to empty the bench.

Joachim Low

Mauricio Roberto Pochettino Trossero

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Staff support"