Teaching Milestone Gifts

'Mrs. Wingit, what's the secret to teaching middle school for 30 years?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pilot with champagne.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

Woman crying with happiness.

'Guess what? I won again.'

Tenacity trumps everything!

Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"It will scare away our competitors."

Space for Lease.

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."