Teaching Certification Gifts

Gorillas Learn to Read.

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Campaign for Plain English

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Marimba

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'