Teaching Certification Gifts

Gorillas Learn to Read.

A Puppet Named Juan

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Campaign for Plain English

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'But I digress...'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Marimba

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Is it that bad?"

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."