Graduating From Teaching College Gifts

"My teaching skills have improved because their dogs are eating less homework."

A Puppet Named Juan

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'What's play?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

The best PE teacher in the World.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

Business Admin - Group Think 101.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"Someday, Sweetheart, you’ll look back on this day and think to yourself, ‘Covid ruined my college experience.’"

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Staff Yearbook

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"I'm pre-law and pre-med. That way if I foul up I can defend myself."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

End of Affirmative Action

University Book Store.

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."