Graduating From Teacher Training Gifts

A Puppet Named Juan

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'What's play?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

The best PE teacher in the World.

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Staff Yearbook

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

Therapist School

'This is going to be the best day ever!'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

"I'm worried that I'm the only one who constantly gets anxiety attacks..."

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

The Ideal Teacher.

Builder's School

'I don't suppose any of you wee bams know how spell, 'mutual respect.''

Dog says, "I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word, 'speak'."

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"My teaching skills have improved because their dogs are eating less homework."

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Just a darn minute ? yesterday you said that X equals two!'

Maria Montessori

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Teachers' Training Toughened: 'Sorry I'm late, I had to help one of the student teachers with their homework.'

'This is a song my therapist told me to sing whenever I get the urge to harm people who won't pay attention to me.'

"How come they can have a teacher shortage, but we can't have a student shortage?"

"You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan."