Graduating Teacher's College Gifts

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

A Puppet Named Juan

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'What's play?'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

The best PE teacher in the World.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

All Hail the Matriarchy

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Staff Yearbook

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

'Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

'This is going to be the best day ever!'

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

With the cost of a college education averaging $40,000 a year, many students are opting for one of the many new budget colleges.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"...This is the only way I can get though college!"

The Ideal Teacher.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

Last Chance for Saturated Fats Next 200 Mi.

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'

Academic Jeopardy - "Reality divided by two gives us this truth."

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

'I don't suppose any of you wee bams know how spell, 'mutual respect.''

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'