Teaching Assistant Gifts

'First, you have to get their attention.'

"May I have your attention please???" "NO!!!"

Those who can, those who can't.

"He knows how to read and write. We want him to learn how to speak."

"I'm Jimmy, your new student teacher."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

'Why do I always get a teaching assistant whose pronunciation is awful?'

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"Sorry, volunteers need a tardy slip from the Principal's office too."

"Let's play grown-ups. I'll be the tenured professor. You can be the per-diem teaching assistant."

A Puppet Named Juan

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

In basket-case.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Computer Room.

Gender Equality

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."