Tea Skeptics Gifts

"You got anything that doesn't have green tea in it?"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

Tea Snob.

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'Do you want flies with that?'

"What's healthy about breakfast cereals?"

'What they ought to send up in the space shot is broccoli!'

'Not another Doctor Who spin off!?'

"It's extremely rare for anyone to suffer side effects from health supplements Mr Baxter. Just how much cod liver oil have you been taking?"

'You're taking too much of that clamshell calcium, Margaret.'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Super and Super Duper Vitamins.

'Are you crazy! The nest is made of dry grass and twigs: Smoking is a massive fire harzard!'

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

"Unsweetened has some sugar, lightly sweetened has a ton of sugar, and fully sweetened will kill you."

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

I can't eat my carrot. It's for my snowman.

"Man does not live by corn syrup alone."

You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.