Taxing Conversationalist Gifts

'l leave worrying about taxes to those who pay them.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

Al, you know how a lot of people in Britain regretted their decision to leave the European Union? I was just wondering if you ever regretted your decision to leave the human race.

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

News. To broaden the tax base, they started making robots pay income tax. Of course! They can't vote. IRS. My first tax return and I get audited! They said everything was wrong! Despite the fact humans totally rely on us, we can't list them as dependents! They said my "net income" is not what I earned working online. And I shouldn't have used the "short" form even though I' have some bad electrical wiring! You'll do better next time ... just remember to disconnect your logic board befo

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

"All the good ones are neutered."

Tax haven.

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

"I've never been what you'd call an 'ethics head.' "

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

Today's Topic: "The value of money" You know what they say, Frank, "money talks." Whenever my money starts to talk, I get a bill to shut it up.

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

'What the... they raised our property tax assessment 21 percent because we added a birdbath!'

"Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax. Not having to pay it."

IRS, 'About this new tax plan -- I'd like to volunteer to be in the control group.'

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'Euro for your thoughts, dear?'

"It's a lovingly handcrafted beer, citra and summit hopped, with notes of lime, passion fruit and ...."

"Have beer and fags gone up, yet?"