Taxing Conversationalist Gifts

'l leave worrying about taxes to those who pay them.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

Greek in gallery with Greek statues

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

Tax haven.

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

"All the good ones are neutered."

"I've never been what you'd call an 'ethics head.' "

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

"Don't worry mate... We've rung for an economist."

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

"Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax. Not having to pay it."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

IRS, 'About this new tax plan -- I'd like to volunteer to be in the control group.'

'Euro for your thoughts, dear?'

"Have beer and fags gone up, yet?"

IRS, 'Oh, you needn't be unduly concerned, sir -- this year, we're auditing everybody with silly mustaches.'

"It's a lovingly handcrafted beer, citra and summit hopped, with notes of lime, passion fruit and ...."