Taxation Talker Gifts

Another year, another dollar

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

Budget reaction.

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

'They'll tax it less than my 4X4.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

News. To broaden the tax base, they started making robots pay income tax. Of course! They can't vote. IRS. My first tax return and I get audited! They said everything was wrong! Despite the fact humans totally rely on us, we can't list them as dependents! They said my "net income" is not what I earned working online. And I shouldn't have used the "short" form even though I' have some bad electrical wiring! You'll do better next time ... just remember to disconnect your logic board befo

Inside Jim Flaherty's office.

'I'm being audited! Quick, everyone into the tax shelter!'

"But if we didn't measure things we wouldn't know how good we were at measuring the things that we're measuring!"

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

Tax Reform 'Our only hope is gridlock among the special interest groups.'