Tax Time Troublemaker Gifts

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Tax Collector

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'The all bad news is, the last check that bounced, you sent to the IRS.'

"Lessee ... I suppose my current income is around ... "

"We always see a spike after April 15th."

Tax confusion.

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

'I.R.S short form.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

Personalized Tax-Return Mailers.

'Simple mathematical error. Two plus two isn't four. It's twelve thousand eight hundred and four.'

'Can you make good money as a salesman for our company? Let's put it this way - look around you!'

'IRS Help Hot Line. While you're on hold for the next 23 hours, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'Well, I hope you're satisfied -- I spent all afternoon going over your return, and I can't find a thing wrong with it!'

'Can I protect my assets through moral bankruptcy?'

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'

'Cold weather doesn't bother me - I just think about April 15th and start to sweat.'

"But I thought once the I.R.S. applied a penalty, that was the end of it."

"It's simple, but it works for us!"

'We're a two-income family. In come the bills and in come the taxes!'

'Don't get hysterical...Life begins at 40...'

'Dr. Jekyll, how well do you know this Mr. Hyde who prepared your taxes?'

'This is the third year in a row I'm being audited. Might this have something to do with the fact that I'm your ex-husband?'

"Dad's really sweating. Was he working out?"

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."