Tax Time Comedian Pillows

Rites of Spring: Rebirth/Rejuvenation/Realizing you haven't started your taxes.

Why do I have to walk through here? In case you have any money left.

'...And here, on line 27, where you say 'Beam me up, Scotty'....'

IRS - 87 Days without a refund.

IRS 'No U Turns'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

tax

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."